Iran bans the Mullet

This won't be much of a surprise to you as this story has been spreading the internet like wildfire, but Iran, in a stunning example of how to get oppression right, has banned the Mullet. This is no joke, Iran's Culture Ministry has moved to rid the country of 'Decadent western cuts' by banning hairstyles such as the Mullet, Ponytails and spikes. OK, so we've all had a good laugh at someone making a haircut that most people would consider a crime against fashion into an actual crime but lets look into this a bit further. Ponytails? They may not be everybody's cup of tea but they're hardly 'decadent' and most certainly not limited to western culture, the same with spikes, also according to this story in the English Telegraph Quiffs and 'cultivating a 1980's floppy fringe' is perfectly acceptable! So let me get this straight Iran, you've made Mullets illegal but failed to act on the 'Emo' fringe? Decandent western Ponytails are out but a 1950's rock and roll Elvis Quiff is fine? I'm sensing that the whole thing is at odds with itself here, is there anything more decadent and western than Rock and Roll?

My second problem with the whole affair is this: How will the offending cuts be punished? Certainly the main outcome is that the offending 'doo' will be cut into a neatly coiffured government approved style such as a Crew Cut (which is obviously far better), but how is this punishing someone who is walking around wearing a Mullet? Surely the best punishment for the bemulleted is to allow them to continue with their Mullet wearing ways, possibly with the additional punishment of being made to live in a trailer park. Although the last thing oppressive governments needs is advice on how to segregate demographics into parks/camps/ghettos etc.

All in all although on the surface this is quite an amusing story I'm sure most of us would be less than impressed if David Cameron or Barrak Obama asked us to change our preferred hairstyle. Just because one of the haircuts banned is one that's routinely mocked doesn't make this story any less sinister.